Masculine Energy 101

Why Can’t They Get Along?

Firstly, let’s address the elephant in the room. The Western sexes can’t get along anymore because men are exuding more feminine energy and women are responding with more masculine energy. Here is a brief definition of feminine and masculine energies, but if you’d like to read about it in more detail, then check out my blog post titled, 4 Reasons Why American Men Are So Feminine. To exude feminine energy is to be open, vulnerable, and actively receptive. Conversely, masculine energy is characterized by assertive action, giving, and control. Please do not confuse this with male effeminate behavior, this post is about energy.

Opposites attract. Relationships in which both partners are using the same energy, albeit feminine or masculine, will not last. On the contrary, when each partner is using the opposite energy, even if the wrong sex is operating in the wrong energy, as long as it is opposite, they will remain attracted to one another.

For example, Kevin and Lisa go to the same coffee shop every morning. Kevin is attracted to Lisa but he’s afraid of getting rejected so instead he just gives her ‘the eye’ every now and then. He tells himself he won’t approach her because a sigma male doesn’t chase after women. Lisa is also attracted to Kevin. She notices him watching her every now and then and flirts with her eyes. She tries to encourage him to approach her with a smile, but he never does. Eventually, Lisa approaches Kevin. Let’s pause right here.

There’s a raging war in the Western world. It’s a war of disgust between the sexes. Western men have now coined the terms “sigma” or “alpha” males in a sort of haphazard counter revolution against the Western 4th wave feminist movement. On the other hand, Western women have pushed back with terms such as “toxic masculinity”. It appears the battle of the sexes in the West has turned into an all out war. While mainstream news media has, for the most part, ignored the casualties of this devastating war, social media has been its fuel, flame, and biggest fan.

Despite these facts, all’s quiet on the Eastern front. As an American woman, I’ve spent years living in Saudi Arabia, Tunisia, and Dubai. I learned of this Western gender war while watching social media, because when I looked around me in the Middle East–the genders were at peace with one another. So why are the Western sexes up in arms? And what can the West learn from the Arab world in order to bring an end to this turbulent war?

Masculine energy is defined by assertive action, which Lisa is currently exerting, and feminine energy means to be open, and Kevin is currently in this position. I’m not saying women can’t approach men, I’m simply stating the energy that is being used in the action. It is important to note that men and women have both feminine and masculine energies just like they have both estrogen and testosterone. In the same manner females produce more estrogen, they should also exude more feminine energy, and vice versa for males.

Back to Kevin and Lisa. Lisa started their relationship by using, let’s say ⅓ masculine energy and Kevin has responded favorably to her approach so he is using ⅓ feminine energy thus far. Then Lisa offers to buy him a cup of coffee. He’s happy he doesn’t have to spend any of his money on her, since he doesn’t know if she’ll put out yet, and allows her to pay. He tells himself it’s because he’s a king and should be treated by women as such. We’ll pause again here.

Lisa is giving, which is another component of masculine energy. Now she’s using ⅔ masculine energy in this relationship (of course I’m magnifying their actions for the sake of this illustration). Kevin is happy to receive from her so he is also using ⅔ feminine energy in their relationship. Although both Kevin and Lisa are currently using a majority of the wrong energy for their sex, they will remain attracted to each other because the energies are still opposite. And opposite energies attract.

Let’s get back to the coffee shop. Kevin and Lisa have a great conversation about their jobs and their quirky colleagues. The conversation begins to fade, and Lisa hopefully waits for Kevin to ask her out. He doesn’t. Lisa picks up the opportunity to ask Kevin for his phone number, tells him she wants to hang out with him again, and suggests a new hipster bar in the area. This time Kevin is a little uneasy. He doesn’t like that she has taken control of the relationship and is steering the proverbial ship. He then suggests a different bar in an attempt to take back the controls of the relationship. Lisa happily relinquishes control and complies to his command. His reach for some control makes her believe he is more invested in their relationship.

Lisa is now fully operating in her masculine energy in their relationship. Kevin is using ⅔ feminine energy and ⅓ masculine energy–notedly, control. This is the one component of masculine energy in which men will not easily relinquish in a relationship. Contrary to popular belief, women do not want to control their men or relationships. They simply do what their man is not doing.

The universe hates a vacuum. Everything must be filled. So if the man leaves the controls on the ground, his woman will automatically pick up that energy to fill that void in their relationship. There are many women out there who are dying for their men to say, I’d really like to take our relationship to the next level because I know you’re the woman I want to marry. Let’s start planning for marriage if you feel the same way I do. But instead, they just leave the reins hanging on the horse's neck, and so the woman grabs it.

Nevertheless, men misinterpret this behavior and assume women are trying to control them. He will react by snatching the reins and becoming aggressive and domineering. When his woman cowers at his brute strength, he thinks, Good, I’m in control. I’m a man. But no, he has only become a bully. His woman will react to the bullying by either leaving him or becoming aggressive herself. And there you have it my friends, the cause of the war on the Western front.

Continue reading in my next blog post to find out how the sexes relate in the Middle East and what the Western men and women can learn from them: Masculine Energy 101: What the West Can Learn from The (Middle) East, Part 2!