Masculine Energy 101 (Part 2)

This blog post is a continuation of my first post on this topic, so be sure to read Masculine Energy 101: What the West Can Learn from The (Middle) East, (Part 1)!

In my previous post, I discussed the key reasons why men and women in the West (particularly, The United States) are at odds. In this post we’ll explore what’s happening in the Middle East and why they are at peace.

What Americans Can Learn From Arabs

Most modern ‘sigma’ males say they want a pure, modestly dressed woman, with traditional values of taking care of home and hearth. They will typically point to Arab women and say, See, they are the ideal women. They stay at home, cook, clean, nurture their children, and are submissive to their husbands. If only our loud and brazen American women could be like them.

What they don’t ever ask is how do Arab men keep their women so submissive. The average American woman will say it’s because they beat their women into submission. I’m not going to deny there isn’t some truth to that. My Tunisian friend told me his father would ruthlessly beat his mother. But she never fought back and remained quiet. After years of abusing her, he finally relented because her quiet submission won him over. This was told to me as a love story, unfortunately, there were no hearts in my eyes when he ended the tale.

Nevertheless, this type of abuse isn’t the norm. What I witnessed in Saudi Arabia and Dubai is that these women willingly submit to their husbands simply because Arab men exude 100% masculine energy. In essence, their women have no choice but to respond with 100% feminine energy, because women only take on the masculine energy that is leftover by their male partner.

Of course I am generalizing here, because many Arab nations have begun to adopt Western policies and this is changing the male/female dynamics in their countries. But for the most part, Arab men are the kings of masculine energy. Let’s find out how.

1. Assertive Action

My first experience in the Arab world was a rough schooling. I learned very quickly to avoid eye contact with an Arab man and most definitely do not smile at him. Why is that? Because he would immediately spring into action and approach me. No time was wasted. There was nothing ambiguous about his approach either. He’d make sure I knew exactly why he was talking to me.

I remember meeting a group of Arab guys at a film festival during my travels. They invited me out for some tea and we ran into my school friends and ended up hanging out into the wee hours of the night. I had my sights on one guy in particular. His name was Samir.

Samir was attractive from head to toe. He saw my interest in him and he wasted no time. Throughout the evening he lavished me with compliments on my beauty and called me his black pearl. This may seem over the top to most Americans because we are so used to the superficial introductory conversations about nothing. Then the subsequent dates of more superficial conversations which only lead to the zenith of all frustrations: are we friends or something more?

American men are fearful of being forthright with their intentions because they fear rejection. American women are typically insecure and aren’t open to inviting men to approach them by giving men small hints. It’s important to note that Arab men typically don’t approach unless you have given some tiny hint of possible interest. A man who approaches a woman without an opening may think he is an ‘alpha male’, but he is truly just a caveman. Masculine and feminine energy must respond to each other. A man cannot force his introduction on a woman, in doing so he is only trying to exert dominance, and he will be duly denied.

2. The Giving Tree

Arab men are endless givers. They lavish their women with gifts and the gifts of comfort. They pay for the house, the private schools, the maids, the nannies, the cars, and the drivers! Their wives stay at home but their husbands provide them with help, understanding that the task of running a home and raising children is no small feat. Arab men make sure their women are happy and comfortable. They are not railing at their wives to stay in the kitchen because their wives are not fighting to get out. These women aren’t ‘oppressed’. Their husbands have made homemaking comfortable and doable by providing all the necessary help needed to accomplish the task.

Travel across the oceans and we find an American man complaining about paying the bill for a meal at a restaurant with his girlfriend! Today American men are even demanding that their women lavish them with gifts or go 50/50 on the bills. That’s fine if she’s okay with it, but you can’t have your cake and eat it too! You won’t get 100% feminine energy from your woman if you aren’t exuding 100% masculine energy. She will feel that since she can do what you do (provide) why can’t you do what you expect from her (tend to the home and children)?

Now I know not every man can provide all that a wealthy Arab man can for his wife, in fact, most Arab men don’t have those kinds of finances as well, but they do find alternative ways to lighten their wife's homemaking loads. Families are large and close knit because they can help raise each other's children and even pay for schooling and other bills. The bottomline is, the average Arab man values his family and does all that he can to make sure that his children are brought up by a mother who has the time and energy to raise their children.

Most Americans don’t live in this communal style, however, it’s still possible for a Western man to provide these comforts by providing his time and energy at home if he can’t find family members or hire someone to help his wife. Some Western men are affronted when their wives ask for assistance in the home. ‘Well I work all day, why should I come home and help out with the housework and child rearing?’ Because you haven’t provided any other help for her, so you must provide yourself.

When I was in Saudi, as an American woman, I felt sorry for the Saudi women who, at that time, were not allowed to drive. I made this comment to a Saudi friend and her response shocked me. “Oh no”, she laughed, “We like it. He has to drive me around, that way I always know where he is!” In other words, if you can’t pay for it, do it yourself.

3. Taking Control

Picture a couple sitting on a horse and neither one takes the reins. What would happen? Either the horse starts trotting along in some random direction or it simply doesn’t move at all. The same happens to a relationship when no one takes control of its direction, speed, and destination.

Taking control of a relationship is one of the three components of masculine energy. Men shouldn’t assume they will be given control in a relationship–they must take it. I am not encouraging a brutish caveman like behavior in men here. They are not taking control from anyone, because like the reins of a horse, it’s just lying there. They only have to pick it up. If they don’t, then trust me, their woman will. And it’s not because she’s innately controlling and wants to dominate her man. It’s simply because he hasn’t picked up the reins, and if no one does, the relationship goes nowhere or wanders aimlessly for months or even years, (hence the modern term: situationship).

So what can we learn from Arab men about taking control of a relationship? When an Arab man approaches a woman he will exude one of two things: “I want to have sex with you, or, I want to marry you.” From the start, he takes the reins, you know where the relationship is headed and how long it will last. The woman has the option to either jump off the horse or ride on!

This may seem too forthright for Westerners, however, this is the number one issue women in the West complain about in their relationships. Their man doesn’t define where they are in their relationship. He just wants to ‘Netflix and chill’ for life it seems. He never brings up commitment and leaves her wondering and grappling for the reins because she doesn’t want to let go of the relationship. She has sex with him because he wants it and she thinks it’ll help him feel more committed to her. And round and round we go on the Western relationship hamster wheel .

Conclusion

What are the values that guide Middle Eastern men in relationships?

The Arab man is guided by values that cause him to exude a confident amount of masculine energy. Since Arab men highly value their family, they value the woman who will help them produce one. They view the job of raising a family as equally, if not more so, as important as their careers. This high value placed on the family and allots an equally high value on women, the proverbial gardener of the family. As a result, he does all that he can to provide, protect, and lead her to build his family.

Conversely, the value of family is decreasing in the West. Singles are putting their careers before marriage and getting married much later than their parents and grandparents. More and more couples are opting to have no children at all, some even see their pets as replacements. In lue of sexual freedom in the West, men also use and then see women as somehow less than a ‘pure’ woman.

The push for equality between the Western sexes has unfortunately forced the Western woman to do it all. She is viewed simply as a man. When men begin to see women as equals in this sense, they lose their view of the feminine value of a woman.

In essence, with proper values of women and family, Middle Eastern men exude all three components of masculine energy and as result, their women have no choice but to respond with their full feminine energy.