4 Reasons Why American Men Are So Feminine (Part 1)

Compared to men around the world, today’s American man is very feminine. Before you start shooting bullets in my direction–let me explain. To be clear, here’s what I’m not saying: I am not claiming that most American men are effeminate. However, my claim is that the majority of American men exude feminine energy.

Let’s begin by first defining what I mean by feminine energy. To be feminine is any characteristic that is of or relating to females. The most distinct marks of a female are her womb and vagina, of a male, his scrotum and penis. Since the most distinctive marks of a man and woman are related to their sexual organs, the terms feminine energy and masculine energy are defined through male and female roles during sexual intercourse.

Women have to open themselves and actively receive during sex, whereas a man must rise to the occasion, enter a woman, and give her his seed. If he is impotent, the act cannot occur. Therefore, the male ultimately controls the act of intercourse. As a result, to exude feminine energy is to be open, vulnerable, and actively receptive. Conversely, masculine energy is characterized by assertive action, giving, and control.

In this post, I’ll discuss four reasons why American men exude feminine energy in romantic relationships. Please do not confuse this with male effeminate behavior, this post is about energies. I have spent 13 years traveling the world and observing (and experiencing) the way men and women romantically interact in different countries. When I returned to the States, boy was I in for a culture shock!

1. Fear of Rejection

The number one reason why American men use their feminine energy so often, stems from the wounds of past rejections. Let’s look at this case study of a friend I’ll call Ron.

In his early twenties, Ron was infatuated with a beautiful young woman. He took tips from American media and romanced her better than a Reese Witherspoon romcom co-star. They went out on expensive dates to upscale Manhattan restaurants and also creative dates like ice-skating at the Rockefeller Christmas rink. I mean, he put in the work! In the end, she still turned him down. She said she simply didn’t feel a ‘connection’ with him. He picked up the pieces of his heart and tried again, this time scaling down on the expenses but taking his new love interest out to “mid-level” Manhattan restaurants. Eventually, she ghosted him for no apparent reason.

That was all his heart could take. From that moment on, he determined that women were bitches and deserved to be treated as such. I mean, why wine and dine ‘em if they’re not gonna reciprocate the love? Soon ‘dating’ became a late night “wyd” text. Sending TikToc vids, acronym texts, and pictures of his genitals, would be the only form of ‘communication’ before he’d send the inevitable, “you up?” text. Some girls were willing to play the game and the price tag was way less than being a gentleman, so he chose to jump on the sigma male train.

In short, Ron began to utilize his feminine energy consistently when ‘dating’, because of the rejection he faced in his younger years. It became easier to sit at home, and bait and catch and receive many willing women into his bed.

In this position, a man is not exerting any masculine energy. His actions are passive instead of assertive, he gives nothing of value to the woman, and does not take control of the relationship. Instead, he passively waits to “see how it goes”.

These types of passive men are not viewed as desirable men simply because they are displaying feminine energy. Watch a man help an old lady cross the street and women begin to swoon. Watch a woman help an old lady cross the street and men just think she’s nice, because (don’t get me wrong here) she is, but she isn’t exuding feminine energy. And it’s this energy that attracts us to the opposite sex the most.

2. Insecurity

Some women will go out with a man just for a free meal. This is rare, not the norm. Men will say they don’t want to be taken advantage of by women. What they really want are guarantees from women before they operate in their masculine energy. However, masculine energy demands that a man rise to the occasion and assertively take control of the course of the relationship by giving of his time, resources, and energy.

This is akin to a man demanding before sex that the woman first give him the assurance that she will enjoy it and he will be the best she’s ever had. This is the mystery of love, no one knows when it appears or where it comes from, within the timeline of a relationship. As a result, this demand ultimately reveals a man’s insecurity in his ability to deliver. By giving him this assurance, beforehand, she is acting in her masculine energy for a man who is behaving in his feminine energy.

For example, when a woman asks a man out on a date, or buys him a drink, or tells him (before he shows any signs of interest in her) that she finds him attractive, because she is in the position of giving, he must assume the position of receiving. Some men prefer this because it takes away the anxiety and fear of rejection or being used, however, it also takes away their masculine energy.

On the other hand, when women ask men for help or ask them to do something for them, men jump on this because she is using her feminine energy. She is showing him that he has what it takes to give her what she needs. When he then takes control of the situation, this turns her on because he has responded with his masculine energy. Any actions done outside of the feminine and masculine energies, we are not attracted to, but simply tolerate/accept due to changing social norms i.e. women who say they don’t need a man to open a door for them, or men who ask to split the bill.

This doesn’t mean that women will not be with a man who predominantly uses feminine energy, it simply means we will accept them but what we find attractive (i.e. keeps the fire burning) is when he operates in his masculine energy. You’ll notice women who operate in their masculine energy are often seen as controlling. That’s because that is what masculine energy is supposed to do. If a woman is in her masculine energy for the majority of the relationship, we must not forget it is because her man is predominately using his feminine energy.

Opposites attract. Relationships in which both partners are using the same energy, albeit feminine or masculine, will not last. On the contrary, when each partner is using the opposite energy, even if the wrong sex is operating in the wrong energy, as long as it is opposite, they will stay together.

Continue reading in my next blog post for the other 2 reasons in: 4 Reasons Why American Men Are So Feminine (Part 2)!